Dating Tips from Coffee Farmers – GuadalupeRoastery

There is a charm about farmers. Their genuine joy, simplicity, and humble approach to life makes them a pure delight to be around. How can we bring a bit of that into our lives? How can we show up to dates with the same authentic love for self and others?


While our life and environment may be quite different than farmers, our humanness is quite the same. Here are a few lessons learned from coffee farmers we can apply to dating.


1. Be Yourself. Actually Yourself.

I know, we want to bring our best self to a date. Discuss all the great things we do and hope to do in the future, and while there’s a place for that, dates aren’t award shows. There is no real need to lead with your resume and throw statements to amaze your date. Instead talk about the things you care about. Follow up about the things they care about. By doing this you will truly get to know the other person and they will get to know you. That’s a successful date. Surely, there’s a big overlap between the things you are passionate about and your accomplishments so feel free to mention that. What matters is that you don’t come across as a rare bird with wild feathers doing a mating dance, but a fellow full-fleshed human being.


2. Be Accountable.

In the swipe right and left world we have become less and less accountable. Ghosting is a clear example of that. Disappearing is so doable that it is easy to not bother about much considerations. The communities surrounding coffee farms function quite different. Coffee farmers rarely meet new people. Specially new people who come to stay. Most coffee farming families have worked at the farms for so many decades that they have built relationships that expand generations. Do you know what that means? It means that when you hurt someone, you say sorry. You take respect seriously, as it is the easy way to build report and trust among fellows. Relationships can be hard, but being accountable to others is a must.


3. Don’t Fall for the Paradox of Choice.

Going back to the swiping back and left world, knowing that we have so many options leaves us putting less effort. That’s a baaaaaaaaad idea. Horrible idea. Science shows that even when it comes to things like picking an ice cream flavor, there is a point in which having so many options leaves us distracted and less satisfied with the options we make.


There is much discussion about how the notion of so many options has made finding “the one” more difficult as we create an illusion of possibilities that ends up outweighing our reality. But reality is what matters and while you shouldn’t settle not fall in for unhealthy attachments, you should narrow down to what actually creates a good partnership for you and who is available around you. That’s the old school way of finding lasting love.


I hope this works well for you! There’s much to gain in your dating life by implementing this coffee farm harvested lessons and truly nothing to lose.

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